In Relationships, We Mirror Each Other
Relationships can carry a lot. You may find yourselves having the same argument again, feeling more like roommates than partners, or sensing a distance that neither of you knows how to close. One person may shut down while the other pursues. Small moments of disconnection accumulate. Over time it can feel like you are losing each other, or that the connection you once had is harder and harder to find.
Couples therapy offers a space to slow down and understand what is happening between you. Together you can learn new ways of relating. My approach is experiential, attachment-based, and mindfulness-informed. I support each partner in looking honestly at how they contribute to the dynamic. We increase awareness of what happens in the moment and practice more connecting ways of relating.
How I Work
My primary approach with couples is the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT), which draws on attachment theory and neuroscience to understand what happens between partners in real time. Rather than talking about your relationship in the abstract, we work with what is actually happening between you: a change in tone, a glance away, the moment one person withdraws and the other feels it but can’t name it. PACT helps partners develop a more accurate picture of each other and build new, more secure ways of connecting. I also draw from the Gottman Method, Compassionate Communication to support clearer, more connecting conversation, and the Hakomi Method to help partners work somatically with the trauma responses that can arise between them.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy
I offer couples therapy in Portland and throughout Oregon, in person and via telehealth. Sessions are 55 or 80 minutes depending on the work and what you are navigating. Weekly sessions are ideal when partners are in significant distress, but every other week can work depending on schedules and needs.
I work with all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures. My goal is to create a space where both partners feel respected, safe, and able to speak honestly. Couples therapy works best when both people are willing to look honestly at their own part in the dynamic. That willingness, more than any particular method, is what makes the work possible.
If you are ready to talk, I welcome you to schedule a free consultation or reach out through my contact page.
